I received the following question:

What are your thoughts on whether divorce is allowed for a believer today? I understand that we should not allow divorce to come easily, but the question is, is it permitted at all?

I have not really written on the divorce issue at this point. The reason is I cannot say that I have reached a conclusion on it. I do wish that there was no divorce. I think that couples are far too quick to divorce today. Mr. Sellers says there is a rush to get married, and then a rush to get divorced, and I think both can be true. The cost both of marriage and divorce is not considered. Children particularly are hurt by divorce. They go through terrible pain, all while their parents are worried about feeling fulfilled themselves. This is just not right.

That said, I would hate to advise a woman whose husband abused her and threatened to kill her that she should stay with him. I would hate to attend her funeral after having given her such advice. I know that the kingdom laws do not necessarily affect us today. But sex is a serious business, and Paul says that even a man who sleeps with a prostitute becomes one flesh with her. Of course, he doesn’t say that God joins them together, but this shows that just the physical act is a serious matter.

Even if divorce must be entered into, I do not know that remarriage ever “must” be entered into. Often the remarriage can hurt the children more than the divorce. It is often better for the child if the parent just focuses on being a parent, rather than finding a new relationship to fulfill themselves.

I sympathize with God’s hatred for divorce. At the same time, I am reluctant to bind on people what I think is probably a kingdom rule. If we follow Ephesians 5, we would never even get to the point of wanting to divorce. That is how God wants us to act in grace. Our worthy walk is to love our wives, submit to our husbands.

At any rate, those are some of my thoughts. I too look forward to the kingdom when all of this will be made clear to us, and when we will all learn a better way.

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