wed02I received the following question:

If you would have time to chat about “marriage” if you have time this next few days. Yes for me, cause I am struggling with what God says about it in some areas and what you said in one of your comments on your Precepts Blog.
One of your comments of when you marry it is in front of God, family and friends, I just cannot wrap My head around this in this day and age. Are you talking the Wedding Ceremony here?
You have some very good things to say and I am “struggling” in the sense of studying the Word to know all what the Bible says about the subject, and obviously would love to have an enjoyable marriage.
Thank you for sharing the word, you do challenge me to think allot and my brain is hurting on this subject of marriage, and exactly what it is in all its details.
As you say…..”Keep studying the Word”!

I agree that marriage is a difficult issue, and I am not in any way certified as a marriage counselor! But I could offer you my thoughts.

The day and age does not really change anything, as one cannot change the way God has made things to be. I was referring to the fact that having a legal marriage ceremony in front of family and friends puts you under more obligations to the relationship than not doing so. “Could I move in with you?” “Sure!” does not really commit you to anything. A marriage in front of the people who are most important to you, not to mention the legal requirements that go along with a marriage, make it much more inconvenient for you to end things, and so help motivate you to keep the relationship together. A marriage promotes the feeling that you are entering into something together and becoming a unit. It lends itself to the idea that I am making a commitment I now need to live up to. Moving in together leads to the idea that I have found someone to conveniently fulfill my sexual needs, but whom I can dump at the drop of a hat if I start to feel unfulfilled. There is very little sense of commitment there. Instead, there is self-centeredness and self-focus.

A sense of commitment and unity leads to more fulfillment sexually, as is shown by the fact that couples who start living together after getting married have sex on the average one time more per week (3.5 times) in the first year than couples who just moved in together (2.5 times per week.) That statistic does not change even if the couple that was living together gets married during the first year, which shows how crucial the way you start out really is. A couple who moves in together before marriage is 80% more likely to get divorced than a couple who waits until they are married. Statistics like this show the difference that commitment, obligation, and a sense of unity rather than self-fulfillment can make in a relationship.