You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Sex’ category.

manwoman02Warning to my readers with young children: this letter contains explicit language.

I received the following question:

I have a question:

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth and put the two first humans in a garden. After surveying his creation and declaring it good repeatedly, the first fact that displeased God was that Adam was alone. God’s mandates in the Garden of Eden (Eden means pleasure, by the way) were not “remain celibate,” “eat only tasteless grains,” and “submit.”

The God of Genesis is more an Epicurean than a Stoic.  He does not design bodies without pleasure sensors, but instead squeezes onto the human tongue 10,000 taste buds.  He does not make reproduction an onerous or bland affair, but loads human genitals with thousands of erotogenic nerve endings.  In his extravagant kindness, he engineered eating and intercourse to give us pleasure and then commanded his first two humans to engage in both.  It’s no wonder the first two chapters of Genesis declare creation “good” seven times over.  The second chapter of the Bible concludes with two humans, in a garden of Pleasure, totally naked, who are commanded to have sex, eat fruit, and rule the world. Read the rest of this entry »


wed02I received the following question:

If you would have time to chat about “marriage” if you have time this next few days. Yes for me, cause I am struggling with what God says about it in some areas and what you said in one of your comments on your Precepts Blog.
One of your comments of when you marry it is in front of God, family and friends, I just cannot wrap My head around this in this day and age. Are you talking the Wedding Ceremony here?
You have some very good things to say and I am “struggling” in the sense of studying the Word to know all what the Bible says about the subject, and obviously would love to have an enjoyable marriage.
Thank you for sharing the word, you do challenge me to think allot and my brain is hurting on this subject of marriage, and exactly what it is in all its details.
As you say…..”Keep studying the Word”!

I agree that marriage is a difficult issue, and I am not in any way certified as a marriage counselor! But I could offer you my thoughts. Read the rest of this entry »

I received the following question:

Here is an article on pre-marital sex. What are your thoughts on it?

Well, first of all, I have written on this topic, and the articles are up on my website at:

Here are my answers to this article. Feel free to peruse the entire article at the huffingtonpost site listed above to see what I am answering.

First of all, she tries to make virginity proponents out to be ridiculous because they suggest that pre-marital sex can cause blindness. It is true that premarital sex cannot cause blindness, but Chlamydia certainly can.

Syphilis can also cause optic neuritis.

Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are the most important preventable causes of infertility, according to:

Thus to laugh at the idea that premarital sex can cause blindness and infertility is biased, inaccurate, and misleading. Yes, it can, if an STD is contracted. Is not contracting an STD one of the major reasons not to indulge in premarital sex from a non-Biblical standpoint? Read the rest of this entry »

I received the following question:

I have a question. This has to do with a notion that seems to be gaining popularity with unmarried Christians, in that they believe they are ‘called’ to be single. How one decides they are called as such I am not sure, other than the observation that many Christian young people seem to expect God to deliver a chosen spouse to their doorstep. No pre-packaged spouse at the ‘door’ thus leads them to believe they are called to be single. I find this whole pop idea unsettling in that it shifts responsibility for one’s marital status from the choices made by the individual Christian (which are supposed to be made through prayer and supplication) to a decision made solely by God.  This whole idea when taken to an extreme seems out of context with Grace.  Any ideas You might have on the matter would be appreciated.

First of all, one would have to ask what it means to be called? If being called means nothing, then anyone can claim to be called. If, however, being called really means something, then we had best be careful to know what it means before deciding to claim to be called. I personally do not believe that any believer today is called to anything that any other believer is not called to. For example, if one believer is called to salvation, then all believers are called to salvation. If one believer is called to live a holy life, then all believers are called to live a holy life. There are no special, individual callings today.

The idea of being “called to be single,” or “the gift of singleness,” as I’ve heard it described, seems to be a lot of hogwash to me. It seems to be crafted to pander to the feelings of the growing number of singles in our Christian circles. However, many of these are single through a fault of their own (either divorce or unmarried sex.) To suggest that singleness is a calling or a gift in these circumstances is ludicrous. If anything, it is a result of your own actions or your own sin. Read the rest of this entry »

I received the following question:

What are your thoughts on whether divorce is allowed for a believer today? I understand that we should not allow divorce to come easily, but the question is, is it permitted at all?

I have not really written on the divorce issue at this point. The reason is I cannot say that I have reached a conclusion on it. I do wish that there was no divorce. I think that couples are far too quick to divorce today. Mr. Sellers says there is a rush to get married, and then a rush to get divorced, and I think both can be true. The cost both of marriage and divorce is not considered. Children particularly are hurt by divorce. They go through terrible pain, all while their parents are worried about feeling fulfilled themselves. This is just not right. Read the rest of this entry »

kissIn my first message on “Sex Before Marriage,” I discussed what the Bible has to say about sex before marriage. I pointed out that the purpose of sex before marriage was that two people should be joined together and become one flesh. God desires that we only have one sexual partner because He wants us to have godly children. He desires us to remain pure until we can create a permanent, committed union with another person. Vague promises of future marriage are not enough, because they often end up in our defrauding the other person.

But now we consider the question from a different point of view. We consider the question: what about sex itself? Is sex better before marriage or after marriage? Can sex before marriage affect or damage my sexual fulfillment after marriage? Is there any way that ignoring God’s commands about marriage can ruin my chances to have a happy and fulfilled sex life after marriage and for the rest of my life?

I am not going to answer these questions from the Bible. Rather, these are things I have read, have heard in classes on this subject, or just picked up over the years. Yet I think that these things I am about to warn you about are real, and can and will affect you if you ignore God’s commands and indulge in sex before you are married. Let’s look at these things together. Read the rest of this entry »

kissA few years ago a friend wrote to me and asked an important question. What does the Bible say about sex before marriage? He was an 18-year-old, and was no doubt struggling with this issue as he got more serious with his girlfriend.

The topic of sex before marriage is a difficult one for many in our day. Teenagers and singles in their 20s and beyond face sexual pressures undreamed of a century ago. Many consider premarital sex to be fine as long as it is consensual, and some believers go along with this mentality. But it is important for the believer to consider all that God has said on the matter and all that is relevant before deciding what to do and how to behave in regards to this important issue. I have written this message to help those singles like my friend who may be struggling with this issue and desiring to know what the Lord would say on the matter, as well as what would really be best for them to do. Read the rest of this entry »